Defending Marriage

I'm white.  My niece is white.  She is married to a black man.  They have a lovely mixed-race daughter who just celebrated her first birthday. In their marriage, the fact that the spouses are different races in no way diminishes the quality of the love they share, the partnership that they feel, their commitment to one another, or their ability to be good parents to their daughter. 

As recently as 1967, during my lifetime, it would have been illegal for them to be married in some states.  In Virginia, they would have been guilty of a felony and could spend a year in jail.  Their daughter would have been a social outcast.  Anti-miscegenation laws, as they are called, have a long history in the US.  The primary arguments against interracial marriage were religious.  In the Loving v. Virginia case that ended anti-miscegenation laws in the US, the trial judge in the case argued that God had put the different races on different continents for a reason, and it was a violation of his will to let them mix.  Mixed-race marriages were considered an assault on traditional, same-race marriage.  It was thought that mixed-race marriages could not produce children, or that the children produced would be inferior or "mongrels".  Thus, such unions should not be allowed. 

Fortunately, those laws were declared unconstitutional in 1967.  My niece and nephew-in-law can legally be married, have children, live happy and productive lives, and enjoy the legal benefits of being married.  Even if they weren't able to have children, they could adopt without being legally barred from it.  This is the way it should be.  This is a fair, just, and decent view of marriage.

Sadly, not all of the US's laws on marriage are fair, just, and decent.  There's still an ongoing struggle to allow same-sex partners to marry.   The arguments against gay marriage are primarily on religious grounds.  People argue that God made the sexes in a certain way, and to allow marriage between people of the same sex is a violation of his will.  They argue that allowing gays to marry is an assault on traditional, heterosexual marriage.  Because homosexual marriages cannot produce children, such unions should not be allowed. 

These arguments are just as absurd as they were when they were made against mixed-race marriages.  Just as the race of a couple has no bearing on their ability to form a stable, happy, enriching, long-lasting union, neither does the sex of the couple.  I'm sure there are thousands of same-sex couples living together in loving, stable relationships here in the US.  I know one couple here in Michigan who have been together for over 20 years. Unfortunately, they don't enjoy the same legal benefits of marriage that I do.

The fact that the marriage cannot produce children is equally irrelevant.  I've never had children of my own.  Perhaps I can't.  I don't know, I never tried.  Should I have been prevented from getting married because my marriages wouldn't result in children? 

Same sex couples can become parents through artificial insemination for lesbian couples or adoption for gay couples.  People argue that they shouldn't be allowed to raise children because they might raise them to be gay.  First, this objection is offensive because it assumes that being gay is a bad thing.  It's simply one of the many varieties of sexual preference that humans have.  It's no more good or bad than being heterosexual.  Second, there's a lot of evidence that being homosexual is just part of who someone is.  It's like being black or white.  You don't choose it, it's just who you are.  Third, whites could object to my niece's marriage because they might raise their daughter to be "black", or blacks could make the same objection because she may be raised "white".  Since when do people's objections on how we raise our children determine the legality of our marriages?  I could object that they might raise their daughter Republican.  But I don't think they should be prevented from having children for that reason. 

Last month, New York state passed a law allowing same-sex marriages.  This is another very positive step in allowing fairness and justice in our laws concerning marriage.  I hope that one day soon, we'll have a Supreme Court decision like Loving v. Virginia or a Federal law that removes the barriers to marriage for everyone, regardless of sexual orientation.   Preventing same-sex marriage is just as bigoted and wrong as preventing mixed-race marriages.  It is complete violation of the unalienable rights of  "Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness".